Dinner Curse

Last week I thought I would cook something that would yield enough leftovers for the week. My cookbooks are still in storage, so I found a simple tuna casserole recipe online that only took about half an hour to make. I later discovered, after hearing it bang around in my car’s trunk for a few days, that I had left out one of the two cans of Cream of Mushroom Soup called for by the recipe when putting the dish together. This made a lot of sense because the recipe also called for an entire onion and assumed the onion would be fully cooked in the soup. Since I had left out half the soup, the onion was only half-cooked. I managed to eat it for about three days before I couldn’t stand it anymore. Every night I would go to bed with onion on my breath. I love onion, but too much raw onion makes even me nauseous.

Eventually I brought myself to dispose of the rest of the tuna casserole, about two days’ worth, down the garbage disposal. I ran some water and turned on the garbage disposal for a few seconds until it was clear. Then I started preparing some other, better, food, and turned on the faucet a few times. I noticed that the water was getting backed up in the sink, which was weird because it had seemed clear a moment before, so I flicked on the garbage disposal again. After a few seconds, the entire mass of tuna casserole that I had dumped down the sink exploded several feet upward and outward from the left (non-garbage disposal) side of the sink, covering me, the counters, and the floor in vomit-colored, onion-smelling casserole goo. After completely changing my clothes and wiping it up, the kitchen still smelled like tuna casserole and onion. Even in death, its curse lives on.